As often happens when something triggers a feeling like that, other things that I had been feeling a bit confused about started welling up in my mind too. I started thinking about what I was doing with my life and what the next step is. Something that worries me more and more as I get older is that I want a career where I can travel and I want a family. Now I know that lots of women have careers and a family and they make it work and I know I could do it to. But, to be travelling all the time? I don't know if it's possible to have a good family life if I'm traipsing all over the globe. I spend many, many hours of my life stressing out about this and trying to figure out a good solution. I don't feel that I could give up either one- career or family.
I went back to work in the afternoon, not feeling any better about things. My first few classes were rough, but by the time I went home in the evening, I was feeling a little better. I had gotten my mind off all the stress and was ready to sit down and veg in front of the TV for a while. I should have know it was a bad choice for the evening, but I had been wanting to watch CNN's Planet in Peril. Mid way through, that all too familiar, unwelcome feeling of depression was coursing through my veins for the first time in a very long time. For the first time in my life, I felt so disgusted with humanity, and lost all hope for a bright future for our planet that I thought my decision had been made for me. There was no way that I could bring children into this world! Of course, this was depression thinking for me and not the way I really feel, but it's what I thought at the moment.
Thursday morning, I was wishing I didn't have to work and really looking forward to meeting up with my friends for our weekly pub quiz. I got through the day and was on my way out, when my friend Mi Hee called and told me that her father, who had been in the hospital for a week or so, was terminal and probably wouldn't live through the weekend. I think you can imagine how this effected me. I felt so sad, I almost didn't want to go out anymore, but I thought it might do me some good to be around some friends. Though I was worried if I got a few drinks in my system I might end up crying like a damn fool. Luckily, this didn't happen. Rather, after the quiz, a few of us went to a noraebang which is like Korean karaoke, but in your own private room. It's very popular over here and most people are surprised to hear that I've been here for nearly 4 months and haven't been to one yet. So, it was time. And it was a good time! After pouring my heart out into all the great sing-a-longs like "Don't Stop Believing" and "Total Eclipse of the Heart," I was feeling pretty good. When we finally got kicked out, I stayed out talking on a street corner with a guy named Jason who I had just met that night. We had the kind of talk you can only have with a stranger after a night of drinking and singing karaoke. We both poured out hearts out about our problems, consoled each other, and then agreed not to exchange numbers. It was the platonic equivalent of a one night stand, without the awkward walk of shame, though, it was nearly 5:30am by the time I dragged myself into bed.
Yes, I was hung over the next morning. But, luckily, I only had two classes at night that Friday. So, I had the whole day to recoup. I drank lots of water and coffee and watched Shark Week episodes on my computer. (Sharks are awesome!) What I didn't do was pack my bag for my trip over the weekend. I also didn't take a nap, though I really wanted to, because I knew I had to get to bed early. I had to be out of my house by 6:30 the next morning. Needless to say, I didn't get to bed early, and I was late getting out of my house, but I made it on time to meet Erin and go to Seoul to catch our bus to Seoraksan National Park. We were going hiking for the weekend.
The bus ride was long and there was plenty of time to sleep. I felt rested by the time we got there and ready to take on the mountains. And what mountains they were! You've got to check out my pictures for this one. These mountains are rugged and steep and absolutely stunning! We didn't quite make it for the height of the fall colors, but there were still a lot of beautiful trees. It was so great to be back out in nature again, breathing in the cool mountain air with the familiar fragrance of fallen leaves. The hike out to the waterfall was casual and we had plenty of time to take it all in. Though, the waterfall itself was a little disappointing, the views all around more than made up for it!
Our overnight accommodations were a little sub par compared to American standards, meaning that instead of beds, we had sleeping mats on the floor! This is pretty common in Korea. A lot of people don't even have beds and I've been told that if you want a bed in your hotel, you should make sure you ask for one. But, honestly, I was so tired that I didn't really care where I was sleeping. That night, even though we were bother really tired, Erin and I stayed up talking for a while. It was nice to open up a little with someone. I'm glad that I'm making some good friends here.
Erin and I made friends with three nice girls from Ontario on the trip. They've only been here for about 2 months and it was also their first time on an Adventure Korea trip. We got along instantly and exchanged email addresses before we left, so maybe we can travel together again in the future.
The next day we were off for another easy hike to another little waterfall and more amazing views. It was a good start to a long day. After, they fed us lunch and we had to head back to Seoul. A long, grueling bus ride which started out with a long B movie. I was so glad to finally get off that bus!
It was so great to get home and sleep well in a good warm bed. My stress from last week is washed away and I'm feeling very content right now. Spending a weekend outside in a beautiful park was the very best cure for the blues. I feel refreshed and ready to take on the week.!
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