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Where does one begin to describe a place like Korea? The culture unfolds before me. Things that were at first strange now seem common place. I suppose that is to be expected. What I actually find the most interesting is the more subtle things that an outsider might not even notice. For example, you never see a Korean person alone. They are always in a group or a couple. I regularly go into my local Starbucks- yes, you read that right, Starbucks- and sit with a book to read about far off places or write about my adventures, and I can't help but notice that I am the only one there sitting by myself. I never feel uncomfortable about it- I'm used to doing things on my own- but I do get a lot of sympathy glances from the people around me. They just don't do things like that here. I think that even if the odd Korean felt so inclined to do something like sit in a cafe by him or herself, they wouldn't because the culture doesn't allow for it. Korea has a very strong collective identity. I notice this too when I'm walking down the crowded streets. Koreans will not move out of your way to let you pass, they will literally push you out of their way, and they will spit on the ground a inch away from your foot. This drove me crazy when I first got here. I thought they were so rude and self-centered. Until I realized that, this too, is part of the collective identity. They are all one. The following analogy isn't meant to be offensive- they are like ants building a hole or collecting food. It doesn't matter if one climbs on top of the other, they are all there for the same purpose, working toward a common goal. And so, it just isn't offensive to push someone out of your way.

A Westerner needs to learn to retrain their mind a little bit if they want to be able to try to not stick out too much. I refrain from saying "blend in" because I don't think that it's at all possible- even for some of the people I know who have been here for years. But, you can learn to at least not make a total ass of yourself. On this, I'm still trying... I first got over my frustration with walking the city streets when I was able to let go of my idea that it was rude to push someone out of my way. Once I became comfortable with this, I stopped wanting to strangle someone every time I went for a walk.

There are other things that we thing are rude that are quite common here. One is slurping. The technique of slurping at hot beverage or soup is actually done with the purpose of cooling the liquid off before it enters your mouth. For months, I would stir my soup or let my green tea sit until it was warm, waiting many long minutes to begin consumption, while the people all around me were nearly finished. Mom always told me to stop slurping and something ingrained into your brain like that is hard to break.

Here's another interesting one. Don't say "please" or "thank you" (except in rare circumstances) to your students. These are courtesies reserved for people of equal or higher rank or age as oneself. I think that I lost a lot of respect from my students when I first started here because I used these words freely. "Please sit down." "Please hand out the papers." "Please open your books." Or, when collecting homework, "Thank you." There are times it's OK to say this to a student, for example, when one of them erases the board for me after class, without me asking. Or, when they bring me chocolates- how can you not say thanks to that? But to throw around "pleases" and "thank yous" in every sentence confused my students sense of Confucian hierarchy that is seemingly innate to every Korean. By eliminating these words from my class, and maintaining a slightly more rigid persona, I have gained an enormous amount of respect from my kids. I think they are actually more comfortable with this than the lose carefree, friendly teacher I tried to be at first, because it is what they are familiar with.

There are many more examples I could give, and many more, I'm quite sure, that I have yet to realize. It's altogether amazing to see how complex culture really is. It certainly calls ones own identity into question. I love the newness of discovery- both this place and myself.

Skiing and Engagement!!!

Well, the title says the big news. Eric (finally!) proposed yesterday during our ski trip! It was the perfect day for both. It was snowing big fluffy snowflakes- I had the feeling of being inside a snow globe. It was just a beautiful day, beautiful mountains, perfect really. I didn't expect it at all. Well, I mean, I've been expecting it a little, but my mind was on skiing at the time and it came as a surprise. He asked at the very top of the mountain, and my hands were so cold, I could barely feel them, but I was just so happy. We tried to take a picture of ourselves and then a random Korean man offered to take the snap shot for us. Didn't get a close up of the ring, but it's lovely.







The rest of the day was great, too. I had a little bit of fear to get over once we moved on past the bunny slope, but once I got it, I had so much fun! I only fell a few times- but I think Eric got them all on video or pictures- and it was definitely over too soon.




That night, we wanted to go out to celebrate, but we couldn't find a nice restaurant, and I was very tired because I've been a little sick and we had only had about 4 hours of sleep the night before, so we had a drink and snuggled up in out little bed at the youth hostel. The next morning we treated ourselves to a very nice breakfast at a fancy hotel next door to the ski lodge.

I've been loving Korea so much lately and until Eric got here, I was doing alright without him, but now the thought that he has to leave in two weeks, is just about the saddest thing I can think of. Well, like Scarlet always said, I won't think about that today, I'll think about it tomorrow. Today, I'm way too happy!

The Noraebang

The Korean noraebang, literally "singing room," is the equivalent of what we Westerns popularly call karaoke. The difference is that you are in a small room with just your friends, so you can have more fun and not have to worry so much about making a fool out of yourself in front of strangers. It's more like having a karaoke machine in you house and singing at a party.

I avoided going to the noraebang for the first few months I was here- despite MiHee's request to do so nearly every time we went out- because I don't- as anyone who know me can testify- have the best voice. But, one particularly difficult day, I made a desperate attempt to get my friends to stay out a little bit longer by suggesting that we go to one. The result? A good time was had by all and noraebangs have since become a part of a typical weekend for me.

What's so interesting to me about going to the noraebang is that Koreans use it as a way to get rid of stress. One night when MiHee was particularly upset set all but demanded that we go the noraebang. Last night, my coworker was feeling depressed because she is fighting with her husband, and my director suggested I take her to the noraebang. We did, and when we were leaving, she thanked me for inviting her out and she seemed to have a genuine smile.

I don't know what it is- if it's the therapeutic power of music, being able to yell as loud as you want without anyone caring, or simply hanging out and being a bit silly with friends- probably a combination of all these,- but the noraebang certainly seems to have a positive effect on people. It's certainly a more positive outlet than many other alternatives. It seems like such a silly thing, but I highly recommend one anytime you're looking to have a good time!

No rock climbing for me :(

So, it turns out that I got really sick last week. Just a head cold, but it hit me like a ton of bricks! I didn't do anything at all last week. No pub quiz, no singing, and no rock climbing. It's just as well, since the weather has also been bitterly cold for the past few days and I haven't bought myself gloves yet. So, nothing to report this week. Sorry.

Peaks and Valleys

This was a crazy week for me! It started out typical enough, but by Wednesday, I was a big mess. I had a really rough day at work. The school I work for is poorly run. Most of the time I don't let it bother me, but at times it can be down right maddening! Though my director is a nice woman, she has no business skills. Frankly, I'm sometimes amazed that she's kept the place in business as long as she has. Now that I'm making some friends with other English teachers in my area, I'm always surprised to hear about organized their schools are and how helpful their directors can be. Well, the details aren't really important, but suffice it to say that on Wednesday, I left my morning class feeling incredibly frustrated with my job. As I walked home, I really felt like crying.

As often happens when something triggers a feeling like that, other things that I had been feeling a bit confused about started welling up in my mind too. I started thinking about what I was doing with my life and what the next step is. Something that worries me more and more as I get older is that I want a career where I can travel and I want a family. Now I know that lots of women have careers and a family and they make it work and I know I could do it to. But, to be travelling all the time? I don't know if it's possible to have a good family life if I'm traipsing all over the globe. I spend many, many hours of my life stressing out about this and trying to figure out a good solution. I don't feel that I could give up either one- career or family.

I went back to work in the afternoon, not feeling any better about things. My first few classes were rough, but by the time I went home in the evening, I was feeling a little better. I had gotten my mind off all the stress and was ready to sit down and veg in front of the TV for a while. I should have know it was a bad choice for the evening, but I had been wanting to watch CNN's Planet in Peril. Mid way through, that all too familiar, unwelcome feeling of depression was coursing through my veins for the first time in a very long time. For the first time in my life, I felt so disgusted with humanity, and lost all hope for a bright future for our planet that I thought my decision had been made for me. There was no way that I could bring children into this world! Of course, this was depression thinking for me and not the way I really feel, but it's what I thought at the moment.

Thursday morning, I was wishing I didn't have to work and really looking forward to meeting up with my friends for our weekly pub quiz. I got through the day and was on my way out, when my friend Mi Hee called and told me that her father, who had been in the hospital for a week or so, was terminal and probably wouldn't live through the weekend. I think you can imagine how this effected me. I felt so sad, I almost didn't want to go out anymore, but I thought it might do me some good to be around some friends. Though I was worried if I got a few drinks in my system I might end up crying like a damn fool. Luckily, this didn't happen. Rather, after the quiz, a few of us went to a noraebang which is like Korean karaoke, but in your own private room. It's very popular over here and most people are surprised to hear that I've been here for nearly 4 months and haven't been to one yet. So, it was time. And it was a good time! After pouring my heart out into all the great sing-a-longs like "Don't Stop Believing" and "Total Eclipse of the Heart," I was feeling pretty good. When we finally got kicked out, I stayed out talking on a street corner with a guy named Jason who I had just met that night. We had the kind of talk you can only have with a stranger after a night of drinking and singing karaoke. We both poured out hearts out about our problems, consoled each other, and then agreed not to exchange numbers. It was the platonic equivalent of a one night stand, without the awkward walk of shame, though, it was nearly 5:30am by the time I dragged myself into bed.

Yes, I was hung over the next morning. But, luckily, I only had two classes at night that Friday. So, I had the whole day to recoup. I drank lots of water and coffee and watched Shark Week episodes on my computer. (Sharks are awesome!) What I didn't do was pack my bag for my trip over the weekend. I also didn't take a nap, though I really wanted to, because I knew I had to get to bed early. I had to be out of my house by 6:30 the next morning. Needless to say, I didn't get to bed early, and I was late getting out of my house, but I made it on time to meet Erin and go to Seoul to catch our bus to Seoraksan National Park. We were going hiking for the weekend.

The bus ride was long and there was plenty of time to sleep. I felt rested by the time we got there and ready to take on the mountains. And what mountains they were! You've got to check out my pictures for this one. These mountains are rugged and steep and absolutely stunning! We didn't quite make it for the height of the fall colors, but there were still a lot of beautiful trees. It was so great to be back out in nature again, breathing in the cool mountain air with the familiar fragrance of fallen leaves. The hike out to the waterfall was casual and we had plenty of time to take it all in. Though, the waterfall itself was a little disappointing, the views all around more than made up for it!

Our overnight accommodations were a little sub par compared to American standards, meaning that instead of beds, we had sleeping mats on the floor! This is pretty common in Korea. A lot of people don't even have beds and I've been told that if you want a bed in your hotel, you should make sure you ask for one. But, honestly, I was so tired that I didn't really care where I was sleeping. That night, even though we were bother really tired, Erin and I stayed up talking for a while. It was nice to open up a little with someone. I'm glad that I'm making some good friends here.

Erin and I made friends with three nice girls from Ontario on the trip. They've only been here for about 2 months and it was also their first time on an Adventure Korea trip. We got along instantly and exchanged email addresses before we left, so maybe we can travel together again in the future.

The next day we were off for another easy hike to another little waterfall and more amazing views. It was a good start to a long day. After, they fed us lunch and we had to head back to Seoul. A long, grueling bus ride which started out with a long B movie. I was so glad to finally get off that bus!

It was so great to get home and sleep well in a good warm bed. My stress from last week is washed away and I'm feeling very content right now. Spending a weekend outside in a beautiful park was the very best cure for the blues. I feel refreshed and ready to take on the week.!

October

I know, I know, it’s been ages since I last wrote. The thing is, that after a while, things started to become a little more common place to me and it wasn’t as interesting to write about my every day activities. Then, once I was out of the habit of it, even when I started doing some more interesting things, I kept forgetting to write. By now there is so much to tell, too much really. I don’t even know where to start.

I guess I’ll start with telling you about my everyday stuff. Work has its ups and downs. Some days it’s a piece of cake and other’s it’s a real struggle to get through. I think that my school is poorly organized and under funded. In addition, most of the kids don’t really want to learn English, but rather are being forced by their parents to come to my class. It doesn’t make for easy teaching. I was having some real problems with a few very disrespectful girls a few weeks ago and threw one of them out of my class. It caused a big scene and I felt a little embarrassed that I blew up, but it ended up being a good thing. I was able to explain to the other English teach- who is a native Korean- and to the director what kind of crap my students put me through on a daily basis. The next day I had off and the other teacher had a long talk with each of our classes. Since then, the students have been a lot more respectful to me. My coworkers, at least, are very nice and we get along well. Although, I don’t get invited to lunch as often because I think they are catching on that I don’t really like most Korean food. It’s an OK pay off as far as I’m concerned.

Outside of work, I have made friends with a ton of Westerns. They get together on Thursday nights for a pub quiz at Ozzy’s bar. It’s a fun time to get together, meet new people, and challenge my brain a bit. I can get very competitive! It’s also the one time a week that I’m guaranteed to get to hang out with other native English speakers. Sometimes I’m jeleous of them because most of them work at big schools where they can see other Westerners every day. Don’t get me wrong, the Koreans that I’m friends with are some of the nicest, most giving people I’ve met, but it is difficult to become really good friends with any of them because of the language barrier. Sometimes I feel a little lonely.

One thing that might help is a Korean class that I just started last night. I had tried taking a class before, but it was difficult because the teacher didn’t speak any English and it wasn’t really at a good time. I learned to read Korean easily enough, in those few weeks, but nothing more came of it. This new class is taught by a really great Canadian guy named Stefan. He’s been here for a long time and can speak really well. Also, many of the people from the pub quiz are also in the class, so it’s nice to practice with friends. I don’t hope to become fluent in the 8 months I have left here, but I think I can get down some conversation skill at least.

On to the more exciting events of late… I’ve been to Seoul enough times to know my way around a bit. It’s a pretty city and some nice places to walk around. Lots of parks. I went to a drum festival a few weeks ago and had a really great time. It’s festival season now, so I’ve been to a bunch in the past month. In addition to the drum festival, I’ve also been to a belly dancing festival and a fashion festival. All were fun and interesting. And cheep. I don’t know how Seoul got rated one of the most expensive cities to live in, because everything is really affordable here. I’m doing something fun and interesting every week.

Perhaps one of the best things I’ve come across here is a group called Adventure Korea. It’s a group geared toward English speakers living in Korea and they go on outdoor adventure trips, all sorts of fun places. It’s really ideal because it gives me a chance to meet new people, it’s more affordable than it would be if I booked a trip on my own, and it’s easier to do things with a group because I don’t have to try to get around on my own in Korean. I haven’t actually gone on a trip with them yet, but I’ve got three trips booked in the next 6 weeks. I’m going to Seorak-san National Park in two weeks for a weekend hiking trip. It’s on the east coast of Korea and high in the mountains. It should be at the height of the fall leaf season. I think it will be beautiful. The week after, I’m going to another national park in the middle of Korea for a weekend of rock climbing. It will be my first time rock climbing and I’m really excited about it. The last weekend trip is in December and it’s to a ski resort. There are tons of places to go skiing here, though they are not very close, but with this group, I think I might be able to get in a number of trips this winter. I’ll report back on my trips as they happen. (No, really, I will!)

Maybe the most exciting news I have is that Eric is coming to visit me in December. He’ll be here for 3 weeks. I can’t wait to see him. And, I’m glad to have someone from home to be here with me over Christmas. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m one of those sappy Christmas people. I’m really going to miss all the traditions. I don’t even have an oven in my apartment to bake cookies! But with Eric here (and lots of emails from home), I know that I’ll get through just fine.

Lastly, I know I’m totally bragging, but I have to tell everyone that I’ve lost over 30 pounds since I’ve been here! In addition to looking so much better, I feel so much healthier. Losing weight is something I’ve struggled with a lot for years and more than anything it’s for my health that I care so much about it. I’ve still go a way to go. I can be really lazy when it comes to exercise, but I’m getting there. One day at a time.

So, that’s it for now. More to come soon!

Right at home... not quite.

When I first arrived in Korea, I was so fascinated by everything around me. I took it all in and tried to remember as many details as possible because I wanted to report back home and tell you all what was going on. For better or for worse, that fascination has worn off and I am finding myself at home here.

It's not to say there is nothing new. Every weekend I try to go out and explore. But during the week, I have my routine. I am used to seeing all the things that were at first strange to me. I know where to go to buy most of the things that I use regularly, and I have gotten much more comfortable taking public transportation. I am used to taking my shoes of when I enter a person's house -even us Westerner's do this. I am also used to wearing my bathroom slippers so my feet don't get wet. I've learned what channels play American TV and movies, and have learned that most of the time it's not worth it to bother turning the thing on. I know how to get to all the bars where the cool people hang out. I'm used to spicy food and expect to have to pick meat out of anything I order. I'm even used to some of the stranger foods, like the rices cakes -not rice cakes like at home, but gummi-like things flavored with fruits and beans. I'm getting used to teaching too, though sometimes the kids make me want to pull my hair out!

The Koreans are getting used to me, too. Most of my Korean friends have stopped trying to get me to eat the foods I don't like. I think I've won over most of my younger students by giving them candy. And many of the older students are starting to open up. Just yesterday, one girl brought me a very good chocolate bar and another brought me some fancy cookies. Even the shiest ones are now talking in class. There is an older parking garage attendant who looked at me in fascination every time I walked past him 2-4 times a day for the first month I was here, but now he smiles and nods at me. Even the roaches in my apartment are getting friendly! Actually, only one dared to come out, but I wasn't going to take any chances. I bought -probably too many- traps the very next day and haven't seen one since. Hopefully, it will stay that way!

For me, this trip is as much a personal journey as a physical one. Before I came, one of the things I though about the most was how I would do on my own in a foreign country. Now that I've been here a while, I can safely say that I am doing pretty well. It's not just living in a different county, but also just living by myself for the first time. I'm pretty confident that I could deal with most issues that come up. I'm no longer scared at night. I've figured out all my appliances. I've learned how to download things on my computer. I've found my way around the city.

I've also had plenty of time to think and I think a lot. Sometimes I let myself think and my mind wander and watch where it goes. It goes to some pretty crazy places. Sometimes I stop myself from thinking altogether, and give my brain a rest. There is so much to think about I have to do this in order to not get overwhelmed. This trip is definitely a milestone in my life and I think that my experiences here will have a strong influence on my future. Korea's not a bad place at all, not home, but not bad.